Aaaand I’m back. Again. But not really.
Sadly, Commander Keen: the comic strip is truly over; and for those wondering why, I can tell you that it wasn’t for the lack of ideas. It was more because I realized that there was only so much I’d be able to do with an IP that I didn’t own. So, I decided — for better or worse — to pivot and focus on developing my own original comic, but that also meant that I had to abandon all those ideas for Keen-and-crew that had been stewing, unrealized, in my head. That’s where this “poster” comes in.
This is basically a fake movie poster that incorporates many of those unused concepts — a way to make me feel like all those years thinking about this strip and coming up with stories wasn’t a complete waste of time. Admittedly, some of the character designs in the poster differ from what was in the comic, plus there may be some people reading this who may not be familiar with either the games or my comic. As such, here is an extensive description of everything in the poster…and then some.
The Title
As most long-time fans of the original games know, “The Universe Is Toast” is the title of the abandoned final game in the series. For the comic, I originally wanted to do a story with that title, then follow it up with one called “Multiverse Mayhem”. The premise was that Mortimer discovered god-like beings from another Universe who controlled the Keen universe — hinting at the idea that the Keen universe is a video game. Clever, I know. Mortimer manipulates the god-beings and steals some multiverse-destroying thing at which point Keen and Mortimer have a epic battle of some sort. It’s a rough concept, okay?!
Obviously, that story would be a little too epic for a strip, so I probably would have made it an comic book or web comic.
Keen and Spot
I don’t have much to say about these two since they are mostly unchanged from how I have them in the strip. For spot, I did have the notion that he could be the descendant of a ruling family of Yorps that were lost after the Gargs took over Mars. I never took that idea any further though.
Foob
The foob to the left of Keen is from a potential story I called “The Brave Little Foob.” The foobs are a race so cowardly that they run from anyone who is not one of their own, and even explode from anxiety if they come in actual contact with anyone. In this story, a random foob gets inspired after observing Keen doing some heroic act. I planned to show the foob in scattered strips throughout the comic trying to emulate Keen and gradually building up courage. It would all happen without Keen’s knowledge until Keen was in some perilous situation that the foob ends up saving him from — possibly as an act of self-sacrifice, depending on how diabolical I was feeling when I wrote that part.
Rex, Raff, and Princess Lindsey
Rex and Raff are comic-strip-original Vorticon characters that show up in the “Return to Vorticon VI” arc. Rex is a cool Han Solo-like character, and Raff is an excitable weapons enthusiast. In the story from the comic, they end up trying to kill Keen with a reconstructed version of the “Mangling Machine” robot, and it’s later revealed that they were working for Mortimer. I really liked the characters and wanted to have them return regularly, often forming tenuous alliances with Keen. At one point, they would visit Princess Lindsey who would then join them on some adventure. In the original game, I think Lindsey is supposed to be around Keen’s age, but I aged her up in my strip and made her more of a bad-ass who loves to wear her dress and jewelry even when she’s kicking butt. “No one messes with the royal bling!” would be one of her lines. She and Rex would have a sort-of-sort-of-not romantic chemistry where Rex likes her but always tries to play it cool, while Lindsey is more focused on her responsibilities and gets annoyed with Rex for keeping her from doing her job. I’ve always like “get s*** done” female characters, so Princess Lindsey was my version of that.
Keen’s Grandfather and “Big Momma”
The old guy to the left of Keen is BJ Blazcowicz — the main character from the Wolfenstein video game series and, according to official cannon, Keen’s grandfather. The Vorticon woman next to him is an original character that never made it into the comic named “Big Momma.” She is Rex and Raff’s mother and the head of a Vorticon mafia family. She is also a double agent, having acted as though she was in league with Mortimer to avoid mind control back when Mortimer had taken over Vorticon VI, but also working to gain planetary independence. I had come up with a scenario where she and Keen’s grandfather had some sort of tryst in the past, insinuating that Keen could be related to Rex and Raff. I was never sure if the timing would have worked for that unless I had the Vorticons age differently. Regardless, it would have made any future interactions between Keen, Rex and Raff extremely awkward, which of course would have been the point.
The Beans-with-Bacon Robot
Another idea that would probably only fit in the previously-mentioned comic book is the destruction of Keen’s Beans-with-Bacon Megarocket. I have no idea how or why the ship would have been destroyed, but the point is that it needed to be reconstructed. Afterward, there would be some epic space battle where the good guys were loosing, and just when hope seemed lost, the newly constructed Megarocket would rise out of a battle station with both Spot and Keen piloting. It would take off, dramatically transforming into a giant robot which would demolish half of the opposing forces. It would then reveal the “Bacon Beam” which it would unload on the other half of the enemy, at which point Keen and Spot would high-five…somehow. In my head, this all happens with the Gunbuster theme music playing in the background.
By the way, don’t think to much about the design of the robot or how exactly the transformation sequence would work because I certainly didn’t.
Mortimer Clone Army
In the original Commander Keen game trilogy, Mortimer is supposedly killed when Keen destroys his “Mangling Machine” robot. In the follow-up games, Keen learns that he only destroyed a robotic clone and Mortimer is actually still alive. I wanted to make more stories where Mortimer gets killed, only to reveal that he’s not actually dead. The last time this happens, after Mortimer is “killed”, a new Mortimer comes out of the shadows which Keen assumes is the real one. But then multiple more walk out, revealing an entire legion of Mortimers. Not sure what happens after that though. Even in my head, it’s a cliffhanger.
What’s Up with the Cabbage with the Freaky Eye?
Actually, I don’t have any explanation for that one. I wanted to put some generic space battle in the upper right corner of the poster, and decided to make it more interesting by incorporating the Vegetable Kingdom world from the “Keen Dreams” game. As a result, you have red pepper “tie fighters,” a cabbage planet, and a daikon rocket (pulled directly from the legendary Daicon 4 animation). So why is there an eyeball in the cabbage? Because in the reference photo I used for the cabbage, that part just looked like an eyeball. Plus, I had recently watched some anime that had a multi-colored eyeball, so I guess I was inspired.
Despite the randomness of that section, I did actually have an idea for the comic where Keen would return to the Vegetable Kingdom. In the story, Keen’s babysitter gets kidnapped (again) and taken to the kingdom which, for the uninitiated, is a dream world. The only way for Keen to get there is to hallucinate his way in by eating a baby Mad Mushroom. I know Mad Mushrooms are poisonous, but I explain this away by saying that the babies have a high concentration of psilocybin, but don’t become fully poisonous until puberty. I originally thought this whole idea was hilarious, but eventually came to realize that showing an 8-year old taking hallucinogenic drugs might be in poor taste.
Mortimer McMire
Last but not least, we have Keen’s arch nemesis, Mortimer McMire. If there is one regret I have from this comic strip, it’s that I didn’t use Mort to his full potential. My idea for his personality was that he was so full of malice for the universe and so focused on plans for its destruction that he never even spoke unless absolutely necessary. I never came up with a full story behind why he was so full of hate. Generally, I had the idea that as much of an epic genius as Mortimer is, he gets extremely frustrated by humanity because people act so unreasonably. His inability to understand people is frustrating to the point of hatred, and may be couple with some traumatic past event to culminate in the desire for universal destruction. Keen, on the other hand, has the same issue but his lack of understand sparks his curiosity. He thrives on the fact that he doesn’t understand people because this means he is always stimulated and constantly asking questions.
This whole dynamic is best represented in a story I call “The Bully.” I know that in the game Keen is studying college courses, but in my Keen universe, both Keen and Mort are still in grade school — or maybe they’ve advanced to high school, I guess either would work. Whatever school they are in, most students there know to steer clear of the two because they are both kind of weird and tend to have strange things happen around them. Enter a new student to the school who is the titular “Bully.” He thinks of Keen and Mort as mere “nerds” who he can freely abuse. Keen is fascinated by the bully to the point where he agrees to become his minion just so that he can observe him more closely. Unfortunately, at some point when Keen is not around, the bully makes the mistake of mocking Mort, hitting him, and pushing him to the ground. Mort reacts by simply standing up and walking away. In the days following, the bully finds his father has lost his job, his parents have filed for divorce and pretty much his entire life, the life of his family, and the life of pretty much everyone he has ever known is summarily destroyed as part Mort’s casual act of revenge. Keen actually steps in to defend him against Mortimer, antics happen, and eventually the bully is caught in the mists of some galactic-scale wackiness where the more he tries to show his dominance the more he is torn down. Keen is eventually able to get the bully’s life back and the bully learns humility by understanding that as much as he tries to be on top, there’s is always someone higher.
I was planning on that being the follow up to the Gnosticene story that ended the comic, and honestly that would have been a much better ending. But given my rate of production, that would have taken months if not years to complete and honestly would probably not have been nearly as cool as the summary above makes it sound because my ideas never are — though some have come close. By the time I created the true final strip, I was ready to move on so I made the executive decision and called it quits.
So there you have it. I have had other ideas along the way, but these are the better ones — or at least the ones I remember. If any creative individuals feel like taking these ideas and running with them for your own fan fiction, by all means feel free. Otherwise, as I said said in my previously final post, thank you to anyone who had been following the strip for the 16+ years (on-and-off) it was running. For now though, it’s game over.
